What a Pain in the... Or, You Might Want to Stand for This

I was driving the other day and listening to Outlaw Radio on SiriusXM and they were playing "Ring of Fire" by Social Distortion.  So far, so good.

Then, as the song ended, the DJ talked about how Merle Kilgore co-wrote the song with June Carter Cash, although Johnny Cash made it a hit.  He then went on to talk about how the song almost ended up in a commercial, so I did a little investigating.

It turns out that Preparation H approached Merle Kilgore about using the song in one of their ads and he thought it was funny.  Anyhow, Roseanne Cash and other family members put a stop to it.  I wonder if they would have changed the words at all...."I sat down on a Ring of Fire...."  Okay, I'll stop.

Anyhow, it gives a whole new meaning (or thought, anyhow) about "Ring of Fire".  A link to an article about it is here. 

How About Some OJ and Cookies?

I know, I know, I haven't written anything in so long, everyone (okay, there aren't that many out there) thought I was letting this just go. 

Nope.  I have been thinking about it for some time, and I'm going to try to write here more often.  Today...something popped up that I just had talk about:  OJ and Cookies.

Yes, that OJ, as in the former NFL'er and now resident of Nevada's finest.  He was just busted again.  For what you say?  Stealing prison cookies.  Seriously.  He tried to hide them under his clothes, but was caught.  Read the story here. 

He was pretty elusive while in the NFL.  Not so much in his life of crime.  He's a monster.  A cookie monster....

We're Not Looking for You're Kind

I think I just experienced a little back-handed racism.  Okay, maybe the "r" word is a little too strong to be used here, but they definitely weren't interested in me, and it was because I was white - or too be more precise, because I didn't speak Spanish.

Up around the corner from us, about 1/4 mile, there is a Kindgom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses.  On more occasions than I believe necessary, they will come down our street and knock on our door.  I explain that we are members of our local church and attend services there.  It doesn't seem to stick, because they come back time and time again.

Well, today was different, I'll say that.  I heard a soft knock on the door.  When I answered it, there were three women there:  two on the porch and one on lookout down by the curb.  The leader said "We are looking for people to talk about studying the Bible, but we are looking for Spanish speakers."  When she said it, she kind of looked around me, like a kid does when they come to your door looking to play with your son. 

I told her I didn't speak Spanish and about 5 seconds of awkwardness set in.  She didn't really have an "out" line, other than to say "thank you anyway".  Ouch.  Note:  She spoke perfect English with almost no accent.  In all reality, it helped me to get out of this quicker than it does when I explain our church membership, but it still felt a little weird.

Message received:  We don't want you because of the language you speak.  Gee thanks. 

She said what? I hope that doesn't hurt my popularity in Germany.

Confused?  Don't be.  

I haven't posted in a very long time - let's just say baseball season got here and knocked me for a loop.  I joined the local Little League Board and I (try to) keep the website updated.  Then, I agreed to be an assistant coach on my 11 year old boy's team, in a different league.  Next, I was told my 8 year old was drafted on a team with no manager, and was then asked to be the manager - I agreed.  The result?  6-7 days/nights per week I have something going on that is related to baseball.  Some nights I'm double and triple-booked.

Not sure if anyone missed my posts, but I will try to get back here more often, because I do enjoy writing them.  Once the leagues wind down (next month), I should be back to posting very frequently.

I hope the gaps in my posts don't hurt my popularity in Germany (I know, I'm certainly no Hasselhoff).  What?  Keep reading:

One cool thing about blogging on "Bloggger" is that they keep all kinds of cool statistics.  What I found interesting is that it shows me my audience - by country.  Anyhow, this is how my "popularity" stacks up:

1.  US - Thank goodness
2. Germany - Really?
3. South Korea
4. Bulgaria - of course, makes sense.  Actually, I had no idea
5. Romania - again ?
6. Canada
7. United Kingdom

Who would have ever thought people in countries outside of the U.S. would read my blog?  I certainly didn't.

What Did She Say?

I was in a meeting the other day with someone who really liked to talk.  It is said that some people hate silence, and if you give them a chance, they will fill it up with their own words.  This person did so more than I can even convey.  But, she did leave me with a great line.  When asked about how an event went, the response was "I think it was, kind of, pretty much, a little bit...."  What?  That is some serious nothingness;  nonsense to the highest power.  If you really read that fragment, it has no meaning.  It was filler - like cellulose for words.  Anyhow.  That's all I have.  Keep reading, friends from Germany - and anywhere else people are who view this blog. 

 

Eternal Hold or Eternal Optimism?

Well, which is it? 

I had to call Kaiser today to follow up on a billing issue.  I was put on hold three different times by three different people.  During my time on hold, I kept hearing this message repeated about Optimism.  First off, I think it is Optimistic of them to think I would care about the "hold message" in the first place, but there you go.

Anyhow, I was on hold for long enough to be able to jot down their message.  It is as follows:

"Did you know optimism may affect your well being?  Our bodies respond to thoughts, emotions, reactions.  Bodies respond to positive thoughts.  Concentrate on turning pessimism into positive thinking.  You may not be able to change your circumstances, but you can change your attitude." 

Wow.  I think I need to listen to some new age music after that. 

I try to be as positive a person as I can, but this sounds like nonsense to me.  I have distilled it down and what they're really saying is:

"Hey, your life might stink and you may be in a horrible place.  But, if you can trick yourself into thinking it is better than it really is, you might feel better for a bit."

 Wow...That's deep.  Deep something.   That is all. 

BBO or Am I Caught In a Seinfeld Episode?

Beyond B.O.

First off, I haven't posted in a long time (since 2/15 to be exact), because baseball season has started and I am a manager of one team, an assistant coach of another and the "Webmaster" of the local Little League.  This has added events for 6 days (at least) per week (some are double booked).  But, that's okay.  I have juggled some things around, and should be back to regular postings.  That may or may not be good news for you.

Anyhow, I had to take my car in for an oil change and tire rotation today.  I went to pick it up and drove it home....everything seemed fine, except....something seemed odd.  A musty smell.
I didn't think much about it, because I had to return home, change and leave for a client meeting.  While I was driving away, I finally figured it out.  Someone had infected my car with a serious case of BO.  I laughed, thinking I had been inserted into a Seinfeld episode, but thankfully, after putting all of the windows down, then cranking the air for a bit, everything returned to normal.  Whew.  I felt lucky, because if that guy had been inside my car any longer, I would have probably had to sell it. 

Hope you all are doing well, I will post again soon. 

"Don't Open That"

Don't Open That, Said My Wife

At first glance, the picture appears to be a can of Purina dog (Puppy) food.  If you look close enough, you can see that the label doesn't quite fit the can properly.  In reality, the can had soup in it. 

I was getting ready to heat up some soup for dinner, and when I reached into the pantry to get a box of crackers, I noticed two lonely (and old - probably outdated) cans of dog food and had a funny thought.  So, I snagged a knife, removed the soup label and threw it in the trash, carefully removed the dog food label and affixed it to the can with a piece of invisible tape.  I put the now unmarked dog food can back in the pantry, out of sight.

I had the bowl and crackers out already, so when I started opening the can, my kids saw me and kind of freaked out.  My wife said "Don't open that" and didn't seem to happy when I continued.  They seemed surprised when I poured it out, but then they all got grossed out when I licked the spoon clean. 

Of course, I had to show them it wasn't dog food, and they all laughed pretty hard (the kids laughed harder than my wife did - go figure).   I get the feeling my boys will probably do something like this down the road - but hey, funny is funny. 

Enjoy your meal...